Bezpłatny fragment - Dare to Create the Life You Want

Foreword

„Every human mind is a great slumbering power until awakened by a keen desire and by definite resolution to do.” Edgar F. Roberts

My name is Dariusz Łukasik, at the time of writing this book I am 50 years old, I live and work in Poland. I have been writing a blog on personal development since 2021. You can find it at: DARETOLIVE. BLOG.

In 2010, I became interested in the subject of personal development. Between 2010 and 2022, I have read numerous books in this field. Some authors have been an inspiration to me for my own growth. I have been most influenced by the ideas and books of the following authors: Brian Tracy, Allan and Barbara Pease, Norman Vincent Peale, Anthony Robbins, Dale Carnegie, Richard Templar, T. Harv Eker, Christopher Lowney, Fryderyk Karzełek, Rafal Żak.

The ideas presented in the personal growth books began to „live” in me, brought about changes for the better as I did the exercises contained in these books and made reflections on my life. As a result, I have experienced and continue to experience positive changes that fill me with joy, my life has become more interesting, I have changed my mindset, my private and professional life has changed (and continues to change) for the better.

I made significant changes in my thinking, I started to see myself, the world around me, people, opportunities and threats differently. I have also changed my beliefs, I have rejected beliefs that were limiting me, I am guided by beliefs that support me.

The changes I have been experiencing since 2010 started with my first personal growth book entitled „The Power of Positive Thinking”. It was written by Norman Vincent Peale. Reading this book and the subsequent ones made me yearn for change and a better, happier life.

I believed that I could change a lot in my life and that all the progress I could make had to start with changing my thinking and changing my beliefs. Gradually, I became convinced that the theory contained in the literature could result in the practice of everyday personal and professional life.

If changes for the better have taken place in my life, then changes can also take place in your life — dear reader. It all depends on you and your openness to change your beliefs and change your thinking and lifestyle. Personal development is for everyone without exception, but the first thing is the DESIRE to develop, the motivation to change.

I decided to write this book to encourage you to change for the better, and to inspire you to take total responsibility for how your life looks in different areas of it.

Before I go into describing all the reasons why I wrote this book, let me share with you how my life has changed since 2010. For me, personal development is something that happens every day, and I know that I don’t want to stop growing, because growing intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and every other way gives me great joy.

I will describe the main changes that I have made in my life during the time period mentioned above. I will show these changes using the so-called Hexagon of Happiness described by Fryderyk Karzełek in his book „Problems are good”. In this book, the author writes that the sense of happiness depends on the Hexagon of Happiness, in which he distinguishes six areas of life; these areas are: work, finances, health, relationships, personal development, time for oneself.

Here is what my life looks like now and what changes I have made between 2010 and 2022:

The first area: Work

1. Between 2010 and 2022, I have gradually reduced the number of hours I work; I used to work about 30 hours a week, but now I work between three and three and a half hours a day for six days a week (which is between 18 and 21 hours a week); I spend the time I save on personal development — intellectual, emotional, spiritual, among other things — as well as on pleasure).

2. My professional work provides me with more opportunities for development, as I used to work with groups of clients and now work on a one-to-one basis, which as a result enables me to focus on the needs of a particular client, I can be more effective in meeting clients” needs.

3. My professional work gives me the opportunity to develop intellectually: I am becoming more fluent in English thanks to my daily contact with it; I am becoming a better expert in my professional work.

4. Thanks to my professional work, my self-esteem increases because I have a positive influence on my clients” progress; I encourage them to grow intellectually, help them develop, check the results of their work, give them guidance.

The second area: Finances

1. I have gradually developed the habit of systematic saving and, as a result, my financial situation is getting better (my assets are increasing year by year).

2. I can afford to pursue my dreams because I can afford the things that are important to me.

3. I am able to deny myself certain cravings so that I can save money for that period of my life when I can no longer work.

4. I build up my financial security consciously and responsibly (e.g. in the form of a so-called „financial cushion” and assets for my old age).

5. I can earn a relatively high amount in one hour, as I have a fairly substantial hourly rate for my work.

6. I could live for some time without having to work, as I have funds saved up for this.

7. I do not take out loans or credit because I do not want to pay someone (e.g. a bank) for the money I borrow.

8. My financial awareness has increased (e.g. I know what to invest in and how to protect the value of money).

The third area: Health

1. I take care of healthy eating, I don’t eat too much, I buy those products that I know are of good quality.

2. I avoid sugar, salt and white flour.

3. I carry out periodic examinations and so-called „screening” tests.

4. I maintain an appropriate body weight (BMI) and therefore walk a lot.

5. I feel good physically and mentally; I am optimistic.

6. I am in fairly good physical condition.

The fourth area: Relationships

1. I have a very good relationship with my wife (our wedding was in 1999, so we have been happy together for over 23 years).

2. I have good relationships with friends and acquaintances.

3. I have people in my life who are important to me — I support them and they can count on me when they need help.

4. I pursue my dreams and goals together with my wife, we set our goals together.

The fifth area: Personal development

1. My personal development gives me satisfaction; I develop intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.

2. My intellectual development is evidenced by, among other things:

* I have passed the ESOL Cambridge Certificate of Proficiency in English (in 2014)

* I devote my free time to learning foreign languages, including Italian, Czech, Slovak, Slovenian, Croatian

* I write blogs (in several languages), including my main blog DARETOLIVE. BLOG (my other blogs are on BLOGGER)

3. My emotional development is evidenced by:

* I approach problems as challenges (I find this a better approach providing more peace of mind)

* I do not worry about what I have no control over and cannot change.

* I avoid negative emotions, I try to experience only positive ones

* I use positive emotions for personal development: I enjoy my successes, my development;

it is very important for me to experience inner peace

4. I owe all my spiritual development to God’s grace. My spiritual development is evidenced by, among other things:

* my prayer life, without which I cannot imagine life (I am Catholic)

* my use of the gifts present in the Catholic Church (in the form of the Holy Sacraments)

* reading Sacred Scripture — „feeding” on the Word of God

* attending retreats of the Opus Sanctorum Angelorum

* reading books and religious magazines

* writing posts on the DARETOLIVE. BLOG blog on topics related to God and Catholic spirituality

The sixth area: Time for myself

The area „Time for oneself” includes (according to Fryderyk Karzełek): „our passions, what we do outside of work, what we sometimes miss so much and do during our holidays”.

I have quite a lot of time for my passions and pleasures. My professional work does not take up 40 hours a week, for example; I consider the fact that I can and want to work around 20 hours a week to be one of my greatest successes.

Thanks to this amount of work, I am not overtired, and I am mindful of the fact that in old age many people regret having worked so hard.

In my spare time I love:

* writing posts on my blogs (mainly on DARETOLIVE. BLOG)

* reading books (mainly on personal development at the moment)

* watching movies on DVD, because I practice my language skills that way

* talking to my wife about our plans for the future

* spending time in nature

* surrounding myself with foreign languages (through listening and reading)

I will now answer the question: why am I writing this book? I am writing „Dare to Create the Life You Want” to:

1. Inspire you to grow as a person and to change for the better in your life.

2. Share what I believe is very important in the field of personal development.

3. Share my personal development experience.

4. Present some ideas, techniques, principles and tips related to personal development.

Introduction.
Make the Decision
to Create the Life You Want

“Most people who sit around waiting for the harvest have never planted anything. An average person desires little and usually receives even less.” John Mason

I believe that personal development is very important as it allows for a more interesting, fuller and happier life. Personal growth gives satisfaction. Just as a tree keeps growing, you can keep growing. By developing you will realise your dreams, you will create action plans, revise those plans if necessary, evaluate your development, you will reflect on which areas ofgrowth you care most about.

Personal development is linked to a sense of meaning, by developing we are looking for our optimal path in life, we are looking for our vocation, we are trying to find that field that excites us or we are looking for a job that gives us satisfaction.

Growth should lead to a sense of happiness, to reflection on life and its quality, on the meaning of what we do every day, on how we spend our time (at work and in our private life).

Each of us has a choice: we can decide to develop, or we can settle for a so-called „average life”. What exists in our lives depends mainly on us; we are the ones who have the main influence on the shape of our lives.

By working with this book (or more precisely with the theory and practice contained in it) you have the chance to enrich your life, to make it fuller and more satisfying. Personal development theory alone will not change anything, this theory has to be put into practice: the exercises in this book will help you change your thinking and life.

I propose to you now:

MAKE THE DECISION THAT YOU WILL CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT.

To do this, you can say to yourself something like the following:

„My life will be better than it is now, I will become a happier person, I will develop and enjoy myself, I will plan my actions resulting from my goals, I will pursue my plans with perseverance, my life goals will be much bigger than just paying bills and watching TV.”

You can live your life in the best way you can afford. You are free to believe what you want. You can create your life, bring it to a state where you feel good about yourself, fulfilled and happy. This ideal state is achievable for everyone, it’s a matter of attitude, of approach to life.

You can’t achieve everything, but you can influence many things. You can influence your beliefs and what you think about on a daily basis. You can change yourself and your mindset, you can grow; you have been given a priceless gift — the gift of life, make the most of this gift.

„If you have the will to win, it’s already half a success; if you don’t have it, you’ve achieved half a failure.” David Ambrose

Your talents and your potential for development are hidden within you, waiting for you to discover them and make good use of them.

Maybe right now, at this very moment, the desire to change for the better is already being born in you. If this is the case, you can now write your resolution in the form of a few sentences that express your inner desire to change and grow. I leave you space below for your note.

„On ........................… (write today’s date here) I resolve that:

1. ……

2. ……

3. ……

4. ……

5. ……”

You can extend the above note with further points if you wish. What you have noted above can be very important in the path of your growth.

Don’t allow anyone to limit you and don’t believe those who want you to be „average” and lead an „average life”, don’t trust those who don’t believe in themselves and don’t support you. Don’t believe those who say that an ordinary life is enough, don’t let yourself be told that a happy life means working, basic needs and watching TV.

Your life is really YOURS, no one has the right to tell you how you should live, how you should think, or what career path to choose. You are free, your freedom is a gift but also a task.

No one and never will take away your freedom! Don’t let other people limit your freedom and your dreams in any way.

Your inner motivation will lead you to the life you want. Surround yourself with people who are cheerful and have an optimistic approach to life. Value people who are sincere, who don’t lie and are honest. Look for those who will be your true friends, who will genuinely enjoy your progress and successes. Such people are sometimes rare, so appreciate them all the more.

True friends will always support you and enjoy your development.

Try to find your own path that you want to follow, look for new opportunities, read books that will help you in your personal growth. Try to make wise choices, be honest with yourself and other people.

Don’t be afraid to dream, but leave some of your dreams to yourself: sometimes it’s not worth talking about overly ambitious plans — other people won’t understand them and may start to envy you.

Your dreams and plans are your personal matters. You can share them with people who support you and share your enthusiasm. Consider well to whom and what you want to say. Informing a friend of your intentions can be an additional motivating factor for you. Or you can choose another way: don’t tell anyone about your ambitions and plans, just act. Once you have achieved success (of one kind or another), your achievements will testify to you, to your abilities. Another way is also to „hide” your successes from the world, although this cannot always be done.

Remember: it’s your life and you make the decisions that affect what it is; be free and dream, plan, act, don’t give up, correct, improve, be brave, reach for more, be ambitious. Your results and achievements depend mostly on you and your way of thinking, sometimes called mindset.

Also observe people who have been successful in their profession, field or industry. Let such people be an example to you and a model you want to emulate. Remember: don’t imitate them blindly, without reflecting on your circumstances.

Stick to the values you have established, live in harmony with them. For me, one such value is truth; apart from truth I highly value honesty and loyalty. Being guided by your established values will give you inner peace.

If you want you can now ask yourself two questions and then write down the answers to them. Here are those questions (both are value-related):

1. What values do I currently follow?

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2. What values do I want to follow one year from now, five years from now (or for the rest of my life)?

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