Bezpłatny fragment - NLP and dark psychology

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Introduction

There are a lot of great things about NLP, but many people have a lot of misconceptions that come with NLP. Some people, even within the field of psychology, are against NLP and think that it is a bad thing. They worry that this tool, when put into the wrong hands, could end up causing more damage than good, even if it does end up benefiting the one who learns how to use it.

This book contains proven steps and strategies on how to apply Neuro-Linguistic Programming in all areas of your daily life. It also explains what Neuro-Linguistic Programming is, who can use it, when to use it, its benefits, principles, techniques, and application to different areas of your day-to-day life. This system will improve the way that you perceive the world and give you a wider perspective.

Although Neuro-Linguistic Programming may sound very complex, it’s easier to incorporate into your life than you may think. With the aid of this guide, even the beginner can understand the principles and apply them to the way that everyday decisions are made. This can enhance life and give learners a much wider geographical perspective, thus enriching their lives. When these techniques are employed, they open up a whole new way of thinking.

With NLP, you can upgrade your mindset. You can make your memory better, have better communication skills, your intelligence quotient will most likely rank higher the next time you take the test among other skills that you can improve, modify and enhance either on yourself or on someone else.

The following chapters will discuss how to use neuro-linguistic programming and dark psychology techniques to manipulate people and get everything that you want out of them.

NLP is something that helps you to learn more about the people around you. It helps you to learn how to read the body language of those near you, and to get what you want. Any tool, when put in the wrong hands, can be dangerous. But NLP is an effective tool that can do a lot of good, especially for the one who knows how to use it.

It focuses on the practical NLP methods and techniques for persuasion, negotiation, mind control, and manipulation, along with tips to help you understand and avoid dark psychology tactics. It provides simple, straightforward NLP techniques for self-development and enhancement of your skills in dealing with the people around you, as well as aids to create a positive and meaningful environment.

The techniques can be used to better business skills, improve interpersonal skills, and discover the formula to live your life your way while striking a balance with the ethics, morals, and principles that you have set for yourself.

This guidebook is going to take some time to explore NLP and all of the parts that come with it. Inside, we are going to explore what NLP is, some of the controversies that come with NLP, and how you need to learn a bit of self-mastery before you stand a chance of learning how to use some of the tools of NLP on other people.

There are so many great benefits that can come from using NLP in your own life. It allows you to learn how to work with other people, how to read what other people are thinking and meaning, and ensures that you are able to get more of what you want and need out of life. When you are ready to learn more about NLP, especially dark NLP, and how to use it in your own life, make sure to check out this guidebook to help you get started.

Chapter 1: What Is NLP and How Does It Work?

NLP stands for Neuro-linguistic Programming and focuses on the language your mind speaks and how it functions. To use an example, have you ever tried to hold a conversation with someone that didn’t speak the same language as you? The common picture painted is a couple going out to a fancy French restaurant. You read the menu and believe you’d ordered a soup, but instead, you’re treated to a plate of liver and onions.

This scene can be used to explain what goes on within our own unconscious mind. We look at the menu and believe we’ve put in our order for a well-paying job, a nice house, a fulfilling relationship, a happy family, and toned abs, but if that’s not what ended up, then there’s been some sort of miscommunication along the way. Within NLP, it’s often said that your unconscious mind is the part that sets your goals, while your conscious mind is the part that accomplishes those goals. Your unconscious mind holds your deepest desires, and the truth about what you want in life, but if you don’t know how to communicate this properly, then you’ll always end up with the wrong menu item.

Take a common vice such as procrastination and understand your unconscious mind only acts this way because it’s led to believe that’s what you desire. Understanding and studying NLP is like taking that French language course, so you’re able to tell the waiter, who is your unconscious mind, what you truly want out of your life. Unless you’re able to communicate successfully, you won’t be able to match your unconscious and conscious minds together.

NLP is a powerful tool and technique used to speak with yourself, to overcome challenges within your life. These challenges can include fears and phobias, different beliefs, and various other roadblocks created by your mind. Not only does understanding NLP make you a better communicator with yourself, but it also assists you in communicating with others. You’ll be able to influence other people in your life in positive ways, so that they could possibly overcome their own fears within their lives. This will also help to better their own lives.

NLP was founded by two different men by studying different therapies and focusing on modeling. They watched and observed others, breaking down the language they would use and the ability to produce a change in others. If there is a result that you would like to duplicate, you can produce the same result by breaking down the interaction. This consists of modeling different language patterns, how someone takes in information and processes it. If a successful person can accomplish amazing feats, then copying their methods should allow you to be just as successful.

We process information in multiple different ways, and a large part of NLP relies on the understanding that so that we can change it. We want to change our view on certain information, whether that be positive or negative. We also tie certain emotions and moments together that can be shifted. Numerous people have used NLP to become a more motivated person in their everyday life, and to be happy overall. Now that we’ve homed in on what NLP is, we’ll give you a few tricks to make it work for you. Before we begin, let’s start by saying this is only some quick tricks to help you understand and use NLP to help better your life. In order to get the full extent of NLP information, we’d need an entire book, if not multiple books, to dive that far into it. However, these methods are simple and can help you as fast as you begin to use them.

The only thing that matters within NLP is the truths you hold within yourself; another person’s perception means almost nothing. Someone can tell you that your outfit looks gross, and they are operating off their own definition. However, that doesn’t mean that your definition must be the exact same; it only matters what you believe. You hold all the power within your belief, and that belief shapes your reality. Believing that your outfit makes you look like a model better serves you in your life and it’ll benefit you to believe as such. This is the only bit of information that is useful to you and your life.

NLP also uses certain methods that help you break habits. Let’s say that there’s an action like smoking cigarettes or something you do a lot that you want to stop doing, you’d explore the Swish pattern. Despite coming up with a plan to stop smoking, and being motivated at that moment, you end up not following through. Instead, you forget the plan you’ve created and gone right back to lighting up another. The Swish pattern takes that idea of starting a program, like a journey to stop smoking, and gives it a new view. When you’re creating a plan, you tend to think about the experience of trying to quit smoking, instead of visualizing yourself within that experience. On the opposite side, this is the root of trauma and triggers within your life, because people will snap back to that experience as if they are there. It gives you the urge to begin to panic and to act out of pure fear, instead of realizing the new situation at hand. The exact same thing happens when you form a plan to break a habit.

You continually break your plan and fall back into the feeling of disappointment and failure. You replace the image you continually have of failing in your goals, and you swish it with an image of yourself. Instead of seeing your failures, you see yourself as you want to be. This is powerful because most people cannot visualize the outcome and can only see the problem in front of their face.

The swish method allows you to visualize yourself as a non-smoker and to live a happy and healthy life, on the other side of your program.

This is tremendously motivating and gives you a mental image to work towards instead of simply saying you need to quit your bad habits.

If you’re only focused on not smoking so much, then you’re focusing on smoking, which makes you want to smoke more. Use that mental image of yourself and keep it vague, so you can associate that image with a relatable future you. You can always swish an image of you denying a cigarette or not smoking, and it may work sometimes, but won’t work all the time. Visualize yourself as a better you, overall, and you’ll find the effects to be amazingly beneficial when it comes to breaking habits.

Visualizing is a powerful tool within NLP if you’re feeling unmotivated, depressed, or procrastinating on something that you need to be done. Studies show that when we think of something we enjoy doing and close our eyes, we tend to view that item or action as close, vibrant, large. If you enjoy playing basketball, the visual of a basketball will be bright within your mind. In order to create motivation, you need to use this same idea, but in reverse, by bringing an image closer to you. Close your eyes and try visualizing that item or that action in your mind. Odds are, it seems far away and dimly lit, because you believe it to be out of your reach. Every person visualizes within their mind, whether they think, they do or not. Take the image of that action that you don’t enjoy doing and visualize it in your mind. Picture the image brighter, bigger, and more within your reach and control. It may seem silly, but practicing this technique over time will change the way you view the undesired action. No longer will you become depressed at the thought or procrastinate because it feels much more within reach.

Some people rely more on auditory than on visual. However, this works almost the exact same way. When you close your eyes and think about something you hate, what kind of dialogue do you have with yourself? This dialogue can reference your inner dialogue, as well as outer. What kinds of things do you say about it? Now, imagine something you enjoy doing, and compare the two. Typically, your facial expression may even spread into a smile. For example, say you’re trying to motivate yourself to clean your kitchen. Try speaking similarly to yourself when thinking of cleaning your kitchen. Change your tone, tell yourself that you enjoy it, and use empowering language. This will change any negative feeling you have to a positive one.

Another positive technique of NLP we’ll cover is known as „Anchoring.” Anchoring is the process of tying an emotion with an action on the concept, so that you feel that emotion whenever you activate it. For instance, if you’re driving in your car and see an ambulance behind you with its lights turned on. It’s normal to feel a sense of dread or to feel stressed out.

If you see the lights and hear the siren again even if it’s not attached to an ambulance, you’ll feel the same sense of dread you had before. The image of that ambulance is anchored to that emotion. Take an example of homework and the feelings you get when looking at an unfinished page.

Those emotions have been tied to that image your entire life. This is also how advertisements take hold of your attention and incite emotion within you.

Commercials with happy family gatherings may make you feel elated, and then the product flashes, allowing you to anchor that elation to the product they’re trying to sell.

Using this same logic to assist us can be incredibly beneficial. While you’re in the midst of a happy experience, such as an event with friends, or maybe even a concert, start doing something such as snapping your fingers or clapping your hands. Choose an action that you don’t do so often, it needs to be unique. When you begin to feel sad or unmotivated, begin to clap your hands or snap your fingers to incite that same emotion. Just as you can create a positive anchor, there are also such things as a negative anchor. Often, people can’t get any work done within their bedrooms because of the anchor they’ve created. You get inside your bed when it’s time to sleep, and thus, an anchor is created for sleep. Possibly, your room is where you retreat when you’re feeling depressed, so you create a negative anchor for being depressed. The trick is to notice these occurrences and avoid the negative anchors while inciting positive ones.

„Reframing” is also a proven helpful technique within the realm of NLP. Imagine that every moment of your life has a picture snapped of it and put into a single frame.

You feel a certain way when you look at the picture and recall that moment in your life. Reframing speaks of taking a hold of that photo and turning it to the side to get a brand-new view of it.

Before long, you’re looking at the photo like you never have before, and what really matters, you’ve changed how you feel about that moment, as well. For example, there’s a moment in your life when you got in trouble for having bad grades in school. Possibly, you walked away from that moment feeling like you were a bad person, and that you weren’t good enough to get better grades in school. Try turning the frame and giving this moment in your life some new perspective. Instead of looking at it with a negative view, think of the positives.

Try to get a grasp on how that moment made you stronger, and what you took forward with you to better your life. Instead, view that moment of your life through a better lens and think about how it made you work harder in school and then in your work life once you graduated.

Did it always help to launch you over the line of expectations? Instead of using negative experiences, turn them into positive ones. You could blame your parents, blame your teacher, blame your school, or you could learn from the responsibility and grow.

This technique also teaches you to be grateful for moments that you felt uncomfortable or that you previously viewed with a different setting.

Reframing also works with conversations and miscommunication. Often, we react to the way we perceive a situation or a conversation, only to find out later that we’ve misrepresented it. Take control of how you feel about moments in your life, and make sure you aren’t looking back with regret.

A common NLP method that can be used by anyone and everyone is mirroring. You read a version of this within our persuasion techniques chapter, but mirroring someone firmly falls within the belief of NLP. Mirroring someone’s movements creates a sense of friendship, and you become vastly more comfortable with someone who is performing the same movements as you. Without realizing it, you let your guard down, and you begin to connect with the person that is mimicking you. In this way, you can easily build rapport with someone a quick way. Once you’ve built rapport with someone, you’ll find that it’s easy to lead their emotions with yours. If you have someone that is speaking quietly and a little more reserved, once you’ve mirrored them and caught their interest, if you speed up your talking, you’ll find the other person is doing the same. You can also perform the opposite or take it in a completely different direction. Either way, you’ve built rapport and can now build from there.

NLP, in a nutshell, seeks to better your mental health and trick yourself into becoming someone who gets things done. One of the negatives that people say of NLP is that it can be used in an evil way, but it all comes down to what your intentions are.

If you’re doing it to lie or deceit, to manipulate someone into liking you, and the like, then you could be venturing down a dangerous path. Everyone wishes to be influenced in some way, whether by a movie or this book. In a way, these pages are influencing you, but in an incredibly positive way.

How to Use Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

The most fundamental, basic principle of NLP is positive language. No, I’m not suggesting that by keeping a stiff upper lip, you might be able to ignore all of your problems — rather, this approach is based on science. You see, the brain is incapable of processing negative language. This means that if you were to tell your communicative partner, „Please do not touch me,” what their subconscious mind would be hearing is, „Please do touch me.”

According to NLP, your subconscious mind regulates everything from digestion to breathing. This suggests that you are able to communicate with your own subconscious using this technique, as well. The idea is that if you were to repeat, „Do not get well,” to yourself as a mantra, your subconscious would only hear, „Do get well,” and would respond to this. Of course, negative language is best used in this way on others, and not yourself, because it’s entirely possible to just repeat positive mantras to yourself. Many people are unaware of the fact that the subconscious mind is incapable of hearing negative speech (such as „no” or „can’t’), which makes it even easier to covertly implant ideas into their subconscious minds without them even being aware that you are the one willing them to act in a certain way.

The only time during which you have to be cognizant of your own internal dialogue when considering the effect of negative language on the subconscious mind is when your self-talk begins using negatives without your awareness. For example, if you accidentally think, “I hope I don’t get nervous during this interview,” your subconscious mind will hear, “I hope I do get nervous during this interview.” For this reason, it is incredibly important to be mindful of the tone of your own internal dialogue, and phrase thoughts positively like, “I hope I am calm during the interview,” to bypass negative speech impact on your brain.

The second most fundamental principle of using NLP is targeted talk. NLP theorizes that all people communicate in one of three ways: auditory, visual, or kinesthetic. Furthermore, NLP demands of its users to be aware of these communicative styles and to try to pinpoint which best suits their communicative partner. When your words fit your unique communicative style, it is much easier to deliver new ideas into someone’s mind.

The best way to find out someone’s communicative style is through listening to them speak. Someone whose style can be described as auditory might use phrases such as: “That sounds great” or “I hear you’re busy working on a project”. Those who are more prone to kinesthetic communication might say something like “This homework is hard” or “I feel like you are not listening to me” or even, “I’m going through a rough time”. Those who are visual communicators, on the other hand, use phrases like “I see you went to the shops again this morning” or “Look on the bright side”.

Once you determine the style which best fits your communicative partner, you can start using this to your advantage. Visual people are more likely to be complacent if you communicate with them using gestures and smiles. Another great suggestion is to employ vivid, descriptive language to express any physical places or things visually. It is a good idea to do this if you would like to draw your communicative partner in and keep them focused on you.

Auditory people listen to a speaker’s tone and intonation. It is thus very important to control the pitch and sound of your voice, using inflections and variances in both to keep your communicative partner engaged.

Kinesthetic learners are ‘feelers’ and not ‘thinkers’. If you can tap into this by using emotive language, instead of just delivering the facts, you’re far more likely to be successful in your communication with them. Furthermore, telling them “I have a gut feeling about this”, might make them more prone to believe you, as this is the level at which they operate.

Of course, learning what your communicative partner’s communicative style is can take some time, as you would essentially need to build a rapport with them first. Luckily, there is a way to bypass this that is nearly as effective as observing someone’s patterns of speech. The trick is to watch their eyes.

Kinesthetic thinkers tend to look down while they are communicating, whilst auditory thinkers laterally left or right and visual thinkers look up and straight ahead. Watching someone’s eye movements might reveal an incredible amount about how they choose to communicate and how best to communicate with them.

The next NLP technique, which is easy to use and very effective, is known as mirroring. The mirroring technique is based on the idea that we are more prone to trusting people who share similarities with us, such as mannerisms and speech patterns. This means that through careful observation, one might be able to imbibe a few of another person’s characteristics. This will eventually help them trust you and share similar perspectives.

The trick with mirroring is not to make it too obvious. If you simply copy your communicative partner’s behavior, they’ll soon become suspicious and wonder what you are up to. The best way to mirror someone is by matching their speech patterns covertly. If someone is very prone to using slang in their speech, it might be a good idea, for example, to throw some slang words into your own communications with them. Speech isn’t the only thing that can be mirrored, though. Gestures are a good place to start. For example, if your communicative partner is sitting with their legs crossed, you may want to do the same. Here too, you will need to employ a measure of stealth and not mimic every gesture they make.

Disassociation is another NLP technique that is often used by practitioners. Disassociation cannot usually be used on a communicative partner; instead, its purpose is to help the user overcome negative emotions. These are the steps to follow to employ disassociation:

Identify how you are feeling. Are you feeling sad? Angry? Frustrated? Perhaps scared?

Once you have identified the feeling that you are experiencing, imagine yourself floating out of your body, exiting from the top of your head. Imagine yourself looking down at your body and seeing its surroundings and how it is reacting to the negative emotion you wish to eliminate.

Finally, imagine the feeling within yourself changing. Perhaps, you feel your chest tightening from nervousness — now imagine feeling that knot in your chest slowly unravel and become loose and comfortable.

Anchoring is the next technique, and this one can be used on communicative partners. Anchoring originated from Ivan Pavlov’s theory of classical conditioning. Pavlov conducted an experiment in which he would ring a bell whenever his dogs were eating. After a period, Pavlov was able to get the dogs to salivate just by ringing the bell, even when there was no food present. Anchoring works in much the same way.

When using anchoring on a communicative partner, start off by conditioning them with a certain gesture or phrase. Whenever they’re experiencing the emotion you would like to elicit in the future, employ this gesture or phrase to connect these two experiences in your communicative partner’s mind. If you have been successful in creating an ‘anchor,’ you should be able to elicit this emotion within your communicative partner simply by using the phrase or gesture in front of them, without any outside stimuli or manipulation.

Another very useful technique is called the “concealed commands” method. A concealed command is a manner of phrasing a question in such a way that your communicative partner does not realize that you are directing him or her toward a set outcome. An example of a concealed command is, “Which movie would you like to watch?” instead of asking, “Would you like to watch a movie?”

The “if you want” technique is somewhat similar to the “concealed commands” method in that they both rely heavily on wordplay. The purpose of the “if you want” technique is to get your communicative partner to do something that you do not want to do. An example of this is asking your communicative partner, “I can pay the bill if you want” — your communicative partner will feel that since you’ve offered to pay the bill, etiquette demands they now make the same offer. Which, of course, you will accept. In this way, you’re actually shifting the responsibility for the problem onto your communicative partner and away from yourself.

However, wordplay in NLP doesn’t just end and begin with concealed commands and the “if you want” technique. NLP also emphasizes the importance of the word ‘but.’ ‘But’ is a special word because the human mind generally only hears and focuses on the part of the sentence after the ‘but.’ For example, if I said, “Susan is a pretty girl but she has horrible teeth”, all that my communicative partner would hear is that Susan has horrible teeth. If I reworded the question as, “Susan has horrible teeth, but she is a pretty girl”, all that my communicative partner’s mind would absorb is that Susan is a pretty girl.

The opposite is true for the word ‘and.’ The human mind only hears whatever part of the sentence came before ‘and.’ This means that if I were to say, “We are going swimming and then we will have lunch,” the only thing our mind would focus on is that we are going swimming. However, if I rephrased the sentence to say, “We are going to have lunch, and before that we will go swimming,” all the mind would hear is that we are going to have lunch.

Words aren’t the only things that hold power in NLP, though. Touch is also important. When you’re building a rapport (establishing the trust) with a new communicative partner, a few well-placed touches on the upper arm during conversation can lead them into feeling a sense of trust toward you sooner rather than later.

The final NLP technique to be aware of is pacing. Essentially, pacing requires that you give, for example, three definite facts to your communicative partner, followed by the concept that you want your communicative partner to accept as the truth. An example of a pacing script is the following: “Our boss is on leave today (first true fact), and she took the secretaries with her (second true fact). The chief executive officer is here, though (third true fact). Our boss is always on leave (untrue fact).” Because you’ve prefaced the untrue fact (that your boss is always on leave) by first giving two or three definite facts, your communicative partner is more likely to accept the untrue fact as absolute truth.

Uses of NLP

NLP has many uses and dark manipulation is not on the top of the list. As a matter of fact, NLP is used for personal growth and self-improvement. If you want to become a better version of yourself, you can use some of the techniques above to reprogram your mind. Through visualization, you can easily change your negative perceptions of life and start observing it in a positive way. It is important to note that NLP is designed for self-growth and can help you restore your self-esteem and improve your thinking process.

NLP is used to promote skills such as self-reflection, communication, and confidence, among others. You can use NLP to achieve work-oriented goals and see success in your relationships with others. If you implement the techniques right, you will gather influence as a leader and easily rise to a position of power within your work environment.

With that said, it is also relevant to mention the dark side of NLP. The fact that the language can lead to a total reprogramming of a person’s mind is a big risk. The fact that through NLP, you can learn about a person’s beliefs and be able to influence them makes it a dangerous tool. If you want to practice NLP, you should have the intention to progress. Your main target should be growth and improved productivity. You must reduce your selfish ambitions and focus on the common good of the majority. You can use NLP to help the individuals you work with or the people who work under you realize their full potential. You can also use NLP to improve your personal performance and your socialization with other people within your firm.

NLP is also applied in medical terms, especially when dealing with mental conditions. It can be used to help individuals suffering from anxiety and depression. Most of those individuals only experience worry, fear, and panic attacks because some situations trigger past events. Through the NLP approach, you can help those individuals change their emotional associations. You can help them start associating certain circumstances with positive and not negative reactions. The sensory association on certain triggers may help patients of anxiety and depression improve their general outlook on life.

NLP has also been found to be helpful for PTSD patients. Any person that has gone through traumatic events in life may have a very unrealistic approach to life. Negativity becomes a constant part of the life of those individuals. If you learn to use NLP, you can bond with those individuals, extract the right information, and use it to reprogram the minds of the people you are targeting.

Chapter 2: Dark Psychology and NLP, How Are They Connected to Each Other?

Neuro-linguistic Programming, or NLP, has become a popular way of talking about human thought and communication for many non-psychologists. It’s a version of Popular Psychology. While it’s far beyond the reach of our discussion to criticize NLP (because such criticism would cover several issues), you must know a few things about the communication and non-verbal skills and strategies. That is supposed to be efficient and being promoted by both reputable and untrustworthy teachers and so-called master practitioners. Unlike mainstream or popular areas such as linguistics, neuroscience, or psychology, which have their basis in academic research using controlled studies, NLP tends to focus on „what works” and derives many of its methods from other disciplines in practice. So, while several non-verbal communication NLP methods and declarations may have strong research support, it is also likely that some of the techniques and arguments are not validated correctly in controlled study environments.

The message for casual non-verbal communication students is that reading NLP content may introduce you to some excellent and right concepts from fields such as psychology and linguistics. Still, it will also expose you to ideas and assumptions that are not validated or may be invalid. The problem is that you are not going to be able to assess what is valid and what isn’t by relying on NLP literature and courses. NLP does not provide a unified theory — it’s more of a hodge-podge of useful things.

To make things worse, NLP relies heavily on ads and arguments, unlike more scientific science-based disciplines, and has attracted inexperienced people or people with dubious motives. And, who could be called New Age practitioners respectfully?

To explain the range of things that some practitioners include in NLP: the principle or principles are borrowed from linguistics, certainly a valid and agreed way of looking at communication. On the other extreme is the hypnotic regression of past life, which is far outside the limits of accepted scientific practice. Both are deemed part of the NLP. Then, to clarify, marketing claims and professionals who say they can show you how to tell you when people are lying by looking at their eye movements and how to seduce women by applying NLP techniques can be found.

All this to explain why we don’t have non-verbal behavioral elements that are explicitly taken from NLP and not present in more traditional, well-researched, and regulated fields. In this topic, you will find that many things discussed ARE part of NLP, but they are included because they were developed before or outside the NLP community.